


ostensibility, in the setting of a group chat

by ethandiesofdysentery



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Group Chat Fic, In a way, Meta, Multi, Open Relationships, Satire, horror themes, satirical metafiction, thats a thing now, unreality
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:55:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24136954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ethandiesofdysentery/pseuds/ethandiesofdysentery
Summary: In which there is a group chat, chaos ensues, and Amy is pretty sure this is a badly written fanfiction. Because it is.
Relationships: Ethan Nestor/Mika Midgett, Mark Fischbach/Amy Nelson, Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor
Comments: 51
Kudos: 114





	1. You Have Been Added To

**Author's Note:**

> REMEMBER THESE? i do! and i got nostalgic for the terrible writing that is a group chat fic.
> 
> twist: what if gc fics were self aware?
> 
> this. this is what if gc fics were self aware.
> 
> sorry.  
> -w
> 
> ps: this started as 100% a joke but.. it actually might have a plot. oops.

Ethan's phone is vibrating. Not the long, steady vibration of an incoming call. It's the constant short spurts of nonstop messages. Ethan groans. Who's spamming him now? Reluctantly, he picks up his phone and starts to read.

_THE markiplier has added eth, Ames, ripmika, sean, and mr. worldty to 'people i'd hit'_

_sean has changed the chat name to 'A Normal Chat With Normal People'_

Ethan groans, louder, for emphasis.

_THE markiplier: what the fuck sean_

_sean: it's redundant to call it that if it's just people you have hit or currently are hitting_

_ripmika: not me_

_sean: oh yeah mika my b_

_sean has changed the chat name to 'People Mark Has Hit And Also Mika'_

_mika: thanx_

_sean: np_

_Ames: Uh, does anyone else think this is weird?_

_mr. worldty: yeah mark needs to stop having sex_

_THE markiplier: absolutely not_

_Ames: No one talks like this. You know that, right?_

_ripmika: wdym_

_mr. worldty: new charity. the fund to get mark to stop boning_

With one last groan, just to be sure, Ethan gives in and joins the chaos.

_eth: why are yall like this_

_THE markiplier: ah, ethan, love of my life, welcome to hell_

_Ames: Also, you're all in my phone as your actual names. Why are you all sending texts as nicknames?_

_eth: mark i WILL dump u_

_sean: amy i'm under my actual name_

_THE markiplier: u wont_

_mr. worldty: brb getting popcorn_

_Ames: Sean, how the hell do you know what names I see on my phone?_

_ripmika: tyler dont encourage them_

_eth: i will if u dont stop being a lil bitch_

_mr. worldty: OOH_

_Ames: Sean?_

_THE markiplier: eth i thought you loved me_

_eth: sry mark im in it for the sweet sweet youtube dollars_

_Ames: Sean??_

_mr. worldty: this popcorn is delicious_

_mr. worldty: crunch crunch_

_THE markiplier: i cant believe THE crankgameplays doesnt love me_

_Ames: None of you guys talk like this!_

_mr. worldty: im actually gonna make real popcorn it sounds good_

_ripmika: its 1 am_

_eth: *it's_

_ripmika: ok ethan "sry" nestor_

_Ames: This is what I mean! We all know it's 1 am, you didn't have to say it! What are you doing, exposition?_

_mr. worldty: holy shit ethans having a quarrel with BOTH his lovers now_

_Ames: Is anyone getting my texts?_

_ripmika: yeah amy whats up_

_Ames: Oh my god, seriously?_

Ethan has to force his eyes back open. He needs to get some sleep. Like Mika had said, it's one in the morning, and he's way too tired to deal with this bullshit. He shoots off one more quick message before tossing his phone back onto his nightstand, rolling over, and closing his eyes, waiting for sleep to come.

_eth: im going to bed gn guys_

_THE markiplier: ok eth ly_

_ripmika: gn babe! <3_

_Ames: Something is very, very wrong with this group chat._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is abt to get progressively more serious with progressively more non-chat segments. i am sorry


	2. [image attachment]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Mark is worried about Amy, Amy is worried about something bigger, and Mika insists that she is not a Kevin.

Mark is doing his best to eat breakfast in a normal way, despite the fact that Amy is staring him down from across the table. Finally, he gives in, dropping his fork back onto his plate of scrambled eggs with a loud clang.

"Is this still about the chat?" he asks. The mild shame on Amy's face tells him he's hit the metaphorical nail on its metaphorical head.

"It's just not right," she says, shaking her head. She locks eyes with Mark, almost challenging him, but to what, he doesn't know.

"Am I not allowed to start a group chat with my friends?" he asks, regretting his tone immediately.

Amy shakes her head. "No, no, I don't mean like that. It's just…" She sighs. "Something about it feels weird."

Mark cringes. "Oh, shit, is this because Ethan is in it?"

Amy frowns. "What? N-"

"Because I can tone down the romance with him if it's making you uncomfortable," Mark continues, wincing.

"It's not that," Amy says, a tad annoyed now. "Mark, I'm totally comfortable with you two's relationship. You know that. I'm the one who set you up! It's just…" She trails off with a sigh, eyes looking down to her own mostly-untouched plate.

"Weird?" Mark finishes, raising an incredulous eyebrow. That word's all Amy can ever seem to come up with.

"Yeah," she mutters. "Weird."

_mr. worldty: bro_

_mr. worldty: bro_

_ripmika: bro?_

_mr. worldty: bro._

_mr. worldty: why does inflammable mean not flammable but also flammable_

_ripmika: holy shit_

_eth: yes we know_

_mr. worldty: BRO._

_eth: and we drive in parkways and park in driveways we know_

_ripmika: holy shit babe you're right_

_mr. wordty: @ mika n mark your mans is SMART_

_eth: whatever the fuck you guys are on, I want a hit_

_THE markiplier: dont do drugs kids_

Mark hears a rapping knock on the recording room door. "Come in!" he calls, dropping his headphones down around his neck.

Chica bounds in and leaps up halfway into his lap, and Amy follows closely after - though less dramatically.

"Chica wanted to see you," she says as the aforementioned dog shoves her head into Mark's thigh.

"Aw! I wanted to see her too!" Mark replies, vigorously scratching Chica behind the ears while cooing, "Yes I did! Yes I did!" 

"I thought you were working."

Mark looks up from his busy task of nuzzling his face into the top of Chica's head and frowns. "Yeah," he says, nodding his head to his computer, where the Unus Annus video he was editing is still on screen. "I was."

Amy looks confused. "But you just texted the group chat."

Mark cocks his head to the side. "Yes…? I can text my friends and work at the same time."

Amy shakes her head. "But you _just_ did it."

"Uh huh…?"

"Like, _just_ did it," Amy continues, sounding surprisingly desperate. "The second I walked through the door…" She trails off, her voice losing its decisive certainty. Mark watches as her gaze trails from him and Chica to the half-edited video on his computer screen to his phone, lying on the other side of his desk, then back to him. "I don't know," she finally mumbles, defeated.

Mark is starting to get concerned. "Ames, are you feeling okay? Do you need to go lay down? You've been acting…weird." His mind provides a sarcastic laugh. Isn't that just an ironic word choice.

Mark expects Amy to fight that, but instead she just nods. "Yeah, I should do that. I'm just…tired," she says, obviously not believing herself, but she looks exhausted enough for it to be true.

Mark smiles weakly. "Okay, babe. I love you."

"I love you too," she says, her smile as forced as Mark's is.

As she turns to leave, Mark leans down to Chica again. "Hey, Chica. You think mom is going to be okay?" 

Chica just licks his face. 

"Well," Mark mutters, eyes trained on the door, "that makes one of us."

_THE markiplier: omg you guys chica is helping me work_

_THE markiplier: [image attachment]_

_ripmika: aww!_

_eth: mark why is my dick on your computer screen please tell me you're going to edit that out_

_THE markiplier: ;)_

_eth: just blur it please_

_mr. worldty: nice dick, VERY good puppers. 10/10_

_eth: god no_

_ripmika: ok seriously though i love chica I wish I had such a cutie_

_eth: MIKA._

_eth: YOU DARE INSULT OUR FLUFFY BOY LIKE THAT??_

_ripmika: cmon babe you know i love spence_

_eth: CLEARLY NOT ENOUGH._

_mr. worldty: interesting. in some ways, you could both be a kevin, but in no way is either of you a holt._

_eth: what_

_mr. worldty: what_

_ripmika: i am NOT a kevin. obviously i am a rosa and ethans a jake_

_THE markiplier: mm debatable_

_eth: what?_

_Ames: Do you guys not see that the message just says [image attachment]? There's no picture. I can't see Chica._

_Ames: And, thank god, I can't see Ethan's dick._

_eth: HEY_

_mr. worldty: amy is your phone working? it loaded just fine for me._

_ripmika: amys def an amy_

_Ames: Oh yeah! It's probably just my phone. Thanks, Tyler._

_mr. worldty: np_

_THE markiplier: tylers a charles_

_mr. worldty: oh fuck_

_eth: what are you guys saying_

_ripmika: aw youre the charles to ethans jake!_

_eth: what the fuck is a jake and why am i one_

Mark sighs. Fuck, Amy was right. He needs to focus more on work. The group chat is just distracting him right now. He can get back to it when this video is done.

He sets his phone down and turns back to his work. As soon as he does, it buzzes, but Mark doesn't look.

_Ames: Wait a second. Has anyone heard from Sean?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UH OH!! AW DAMN!!! THATS NOT GOOD!
> 
> a few quick notes:  
> 1\. i'll do my best to update this fic daily. that being said, tomorrow's chapter will be short as fuck. you'll see why  
> 2\. i cant believe i had to tag a groupchat fic "horror themes"  
> 3\. yall should go check out its_stupidhours' fics… theyre rly funny and creative aus and im heart eyes for that type of shit. just saying  
> 4\. [ethan voice] points to chris evans "is that man hot?? yeah!!"


	3. Has Anyone Heard From Sean?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well? Have you?

_Sean has joined the chat!_

_Sean: idk, i guess i just assumed you saw the same names i did?_

_Sean: wait_

_Sean: amy?_

_Sean: amy??_

_Sean: guys???_

_Sean: ok you got me_

_Sean: you can come out now guys_

_Sean: it's very funny_

_Sean: are y'all just busy?_

_Sean: oh y'all are probably just busy_

_Sean: sorry i spammed you_

_Sean: just text me when you're available :)_

_Sean: talk soon_


	4. No Bars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A spontaneous camping trip sounds exactly like something Sean would do, right? Right??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY i almost missed my deadline for this oops! listen i just marathoned all of the edge of sleep in one sitting. it was important. if i start writing fic for it dont be surprised 
> 
> AANYWAYS ! CHAPTER 4!!

Mark is pacing. Amy has no choice but to watch him do it and worry.

"He's okay," Mark is mumbling. "He has to be okay."

Amy isn't so sure, but she can't let him know that. "Yeah," she lies, "of course he is."

Mark paces harder, all while nodding to himself. "Of course he is," he echoes. "Why wouldn't he be?" 

Then Amy watches as, as he has so many times today, he pulls out his phone and starts typing.

_THE markiplier: has anyone heard anything yet?_

_mr. worldty: no man_

_eth: no :/_

_ripmika: id tell u if i had_

_THE markiplier: i know._

_mr. worldty: i mean come on the dude's probably off camping w no internet or some shit_

_eth: sean? camping??_

_ripmika: hey, he might_

_THE markiplier: not without telling anyone_

_THE markiplier: hes got millions of people who would worry if he disappears. he wouldnt do that to them._

_Ames: Maybe he just needed a breather._

_mr. wordty: im w amy on this one_

_THE markiplier: then why didnt he tell us?_

_eth: something isnt right here_

_Ames: Everyone does dumb shit sometimes. He'll be back soon._

_mr. worldty: yeah mark dont worry_

_eth: wait amy werent you the one who said something was wrong with this chat??_

_Ames: Yeah, but I meant more like everyone was acting weird._

_eth: this isnt right._

_Ames: Sean's fine. No one panic. He'll be back soon._

_THE markiplier: ok babe. i trust you._

Amy's stomach twists. She isn't even sure if she trusts herself. She's fully aware she's lying to all of them, but she has no choice.

Admitting something has happened to Sean means admitting this is more than just some friends acting odd. 

And she can't do that.

_Ames: Okay, let's cheer up. Who's got dog pics?_

_ripmika: ME ME ME_

_ripmika: [image attachment]_

_ripmika: I MADE SPENCER SIT LIKE A HUMAN_

_Ames: Chica does that all the time. It's adorable._

_THE markiplier: aw mika you have such a good dog_

_mr. worldty: like it or not, this is the ideal male body_

_ripmika: lmao_

_Ames: See? Don't you guys feel better already?_

_THE markiplier: yeah, actually._

_ripmika: yes i love dogs_

_mr. worldty: fuck yeah also theres one dog who has yet to grace the chat with his presence_

_Ames: Oh you're right!!_

_Ames: I think he's with Mark._

_THE markiplier: yup! here he is!_

_THE markiplier: [image attachment]_

_ripmika: HENRYYYYY_

_mr. worldty: he snoozin_

_Ames: Aw I love my boy so much!_

_THE markiplier: i love dogs!!_

_mr. worldty: man sean is rly missing out_

_ripmika: yeah theres so many good boys in the chat today!!_

_THE markiplier: ill tell you one thing_

_Ames: Yeah?_

_THE markiplier: when that fucker gets back, he'd better have some ass kickin camping stories to tell_


	5. Wait A Second.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel like we're missing something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im highkey hyperfixating on teos someone talk to me abt teos and the new love of my life, dave "i will entertain him with my personal suffering" torres. please.

_Ethan has joined the chat!_

_Sean: oh, fuck._

_Ethan: sean?? holy shit! youre ok!!_

_Sean: i'm not so sure about that._

_Ethan: what?_

_Ethan: where were you?? what's going on??_

_Sean: i dont know_

_Ethan: you dont know where you were or you dont know whats going on??_

_Sean: i dont know anything eth_

_Sean: where are *you*?_

_Ethan: home, why?_

_Sean: no you arent_

_Ethan: what the fuck man yes i am_

_Sean: look around. tell me about your surroundings, ethan. what do you see?_

_Ethan: wait a second._

_Sean: what the fuck do you *see*, ethan?_

_Ethan: i_

_Ethan: i dont know_

_Sean: we arent anywhere ethan. we arent anywhere._

_Ethan: sean_

_Ethan: what do you mean?_

_Sean: i dont know._

_Ethan: what happened to us??_

_Sean: i don't know._


	6. Crashing At Your House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wait, he isn't?
> 
> Well, at least we've got that Burgerville sponsorship.

Mika groans when she rolls over to find the other side of the bed cold and empty. Not because she's really upset - no, she doesn't care if Ethan's crashing at his boyfriend's house again. It's always just a mild disappointment when she wakes up and remembers he isn't there. And then she promptly forgets about it. 

_ripmika: hey mark eth crashed at your house again?_

_Ames: He did?_

_THE markiplier: no he didnt_

_ripmika: wait_

_ripmika: what_

_THE markiplier: nah he didnt come over last night_

_mr. worldty: damn you didnt fuck? i thought that's why ethan dropped off the chat last night_

_ripmika: oh shit._

_mr. worldty: hey meeks hes fine dont freak_

_ripmika: do u know where he is??_

_mr. worldty: no_

_ripmika: fuck_

_mr. worldty: but I bet he went to burgerville_

_THE markiplier: tyler we told you to shut up about burgerville_

_Ames: Wait, what's burgerville?_

_ripmika: oh god my boyfriend is dead._

_mr. worldty: its a fast food chain based in oregon, although there's a location in centralia and i BELIEVE vancouver washington but i dont remember_

_Ames: Shit. Why did I ask._

__

_mr. worldty: their food is godly. their onion rings? holy._

_ripmika: and youre saying ethan would go to oregon without telling us_

_mr. worldty: or washington!_

_ripmika: thats worse!!_

_Ames: Mika, just text him. I'm sure he's okay._

_ripmika: i cant._

_Ames: What?_

_ripmika: his phone is on his nightstand._

_mr. worldty: ohhhh shit._

_THE markiplier: fuck mika im on my way._

_Ames: We still don't even know where Sean is._

_THE markiplier: i cant lose ethan. i cant._

_Ames: You won't. Maybe he did just go to burgerville._

_mr. worldty: i sure fuckin hope so! even the bean burgers FUCK._

_ripmika: well i know one thing for sure_

_THE markiplier: what?_

_sean has joined the chat!_

_sean: hey guys! sorry, impromptu camping trip._

_sean: what's up?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone FUCKING talk to me abt teos i will not stop referencing it until you do
> 
> that being said-
> 
> mateo leon, im a capricorn, i like college basketball,


	7. Filler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If a plane crashes on the border of Canada and Mexico, where do they bury the survivors?

_Ethan: ok. i have another one._

_Sean: if there are three doors, i will kill you_

_Ethan: no_

_Sean: thank god_

_Ethan: there are four doors_

_Sean: i hate you._

_Ethan: see thats the best part of existing in a mysterious pocket dimension. you physically cannot kill me._

_Sean: when we get out of here i fuckin will_

_Ethan: im sure_

_Ethan: so behind the first door. scorpions the size of houses_

_Sean: the larger the scorpion the less deadly the venom. thats safe_

_Ethan: no. second door. electric chair._

_Sean: let me guess. the power is out._

_Ethan: no_

_Ethan: fuck you_

_Sean: what was the third door, a shark that hasnt eaten in a month? the shark's dead. i solved it._

_Ethan: no actually! sharks can go six weeks without food_

_Sean: why the fuck do you know that_

_Ethan: nat geo kids weird but true facts volume three_

_Sean: what the fuck_

_Sean: ethan you are a literal child_

_Ethan: yknow what? when we get out of here, you can feel free to kick my ass. i deserve it._

_Sean: when?_

_Ethan: i know what i said!_

_Ethan: we're gonna make it out._

_Sean: i hope everyone isn't too worried about us_

_Ethan: yknow, i felt like that at first_

_Ethan: but then I realized_

_Sean: yeah?_

_Ethan: we're really lucky to have people who worry about us_

_Sean: huh. i guess youre right._

_Ethan: oh and sean?_

_Sean: yeah?_

_Ethan: i figured out that first riddle you told me_

_Sean: ?_

_Ethan: you dont bury survivors._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cant believe no one here has listened to teos. it FUCKS yall. please listen to it you cant tell me you DONT want to listen to marks voice for like four hours straight


	8. Burgerville!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, thank god, everyone is here and everything is normal again. For sure. Right?

_THE markiplier: yo dude what the fuck_

_ripmika: what the HELL_

_Ames: Sean where were you??_

_sean: i just said i was camping_

_mr. worldty: i, for one, am relieved as fuck_

_mr. worldty: after ethan stopped responding too i was starting to think something was wrong_

_sean: wdym ethan stopped responding he JUST texted me_

_ripmika: holy shit he did?? why didnt he text us??_

_THE markiplier: what the hell is going on_

_sean: he got kicked from the chat hang on let me re add him_

_ripmika: uh. who the hell kicked ethan_

_sean has added eth to the chat!_

_eth: thanks sean! sorry guys_

_Ames: Oh thank god. None of us are dead._

_ripmika: eth oh my god thank fuck you're okay_

_ripmika: where the hell are you??_

_THE markiplier: yeah that's what i wanna know_

_ripmika: because you sure as hell aren't home_

_eth: burgerville._

_mr. worldty: FINALLY SOMEONE LISTENS TO ME ABOUT BURGERVILLE_

_eth: yeah im about to get there! ill send pics_

_mr. worldty: YESSSSS_

_THE markiplier: uh. isn't it really convenient that sean was the one who added ethan back to the chat_

_eth: sorry tho i just lost internet going through the mountains_

_ripmika: im mad at you but at least that makes sense and youre alive._

_eth: im sorry meeks_

_THE markiplier: sorry are yall even getting my texts??_

_Ames: Like Mika said, at least you're alive._

_ripmika: yeah._

_mr. worldty: guys im so excited about burgerville_

_sean: yeah tyler we know_

_ripmika: uh huh we noticed_

_Ames: No more disappearing, okay guys?_

_ripmika: yeah absolutely no more disappearing._

_sean: copy that_

_eth: no more disappearing. i promise._

_mr. worldty: I LOVE BURGERVILLE_

Mika leans back against the couch and breathes out a sigh of relief, dropping her phone next to her. Even if she's not happy about his disappearing act, at least Ethan is okay, and everyone is finally accounted for again. Everything is fine.

She hears the front door slam shut. She had almost forgotten Mark had come over in the search for Ethan. 

"Bye!" she calls after him, before picking her phone back up to check the texts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow it's been WAY too long since i updated this but a rly nice person (<3 you know who you are) has been reading and commenting on all my fics and it brought this one back to my attention and since it's easy and quick to update i figured Why Not! i forgot how much i loved writing this haha
> 
> thanks 4 reading! kudos and comments are appreciated!! <3


End file.
